Excerpts fm case study #629 Brian, caucasian male, 57yrs:

Subsequent assessments indicate a pathological self-centredness rooted in supremacy delusion.

Brian presents with a fundamental hatred of anything and anyone that fails to recognise and support his supremacist beliefs.

An irony of this condition is that even when indulged, the client will still hate.
This comes from low self-esteem (usually hidden unless being used in conjunction with self-pity/manipulation routines).

The genesis of these dysfunctions is invariably infantile emotional incest, usually with the mother for males of this type.

Indicators here are intense competitiveness toward other males, failure to bond or provide nurture for females (other than the mother), and an inability to form and retain bilaterally useful partnerships with either sex.

Usually the father of such is covertly hated and scapegoated by the dominant mother, most commonly a closet lesbian/bi-sexual.

Brian’s mother outlived his father by a number of decades, particularly common in chronic cases of the type.

While one or other parent is still living the opportunity for redress and recovery is good, given sufficient motivation. 
Otherwise prognosis is poor.

End play is generally increased self-pity and bitterness combined with dumping of the mother-hatred issue on any unsuspecting female drawn into sociability.

With Brian this transpires through a veneer of cordial largess and affability followed by treatment akin to a client-prostitute relationship.

With males, relationships are limited to xenophobic intensity with identical types either as dominant or submissive. 
Roles interchange easily as a function of competitive power play between the type.

…conference notes 2010

Simon Corbell

re http://timezombie.blogspot.com/2010/08/magistrate-lorraine-walker.html

Magistrate Walker appears to be in a type of Pontius Pilate rerun here.
This is common when 'new kid on the block' dynamics get mixed up with issues of unresolved personal integrity.

Emotional Adultery

Where an individual “debriefs” with a special “friend” they find attractive, ‘safe’, and maybe 'warm & kind' re issues with their primary partner.

These types are invariably social addicts needing emotional propping up in any of their key decisions or ideas.

The only known cure for such lack of integrity is to accept direction from the spiritual realm.

The churches call this “acting in faith” however what I’m describing is generally outside religious law, often in a somewhat radical way.

Of note is a current practice of sending police out as man-woman teams. The many “politically correct” rationalizations for this fail scrutiny when one considers the nature of bonds built between male and female in such close work.

Further, in this age of “it’s all good” type justifications re adult sex, it would seem clear any such addition to the emotional aspect would render genuine professional detachment and impartial accountability virtually impossible (either within the “team” or individually to the force as a whole)

Another aspect is ex partners:

An ‘ex’ can often retain substantial emotional and consequently financial control due to unresolved fear/guilt through religion and quasi-religious dogma in the other party.

The client is generally unaware of the underlying pathology due to having no other reference ie they’ve always been in fear to some degree from early programming so what they perceive as ‘normal’ another would see as false guilt and unfounded/ungrounded fear. Consequently the aware individual questions and immediately extricates where possible any false beliefs to return personal integrity and a clear defence strategy against the controller.

Emotional Incest

Term not widely used in therapeutic dialogues.
Many people in 12 step recovery circles have experienced this dynamic in their birth families. Some have had scrapes of varying degree with mental health.
Involves a parent connecting emotionally with a child in union against the “errant” or “insufficient” other parent.
Far more common than one would think and very destructive. Totally at odds with the sober maxim that parents are to be custodians of new lives only for a time. That their role, ultimately, is to become devoid of any form of ‘ownership’ mentality.

Pride and societal ignorance/rigidity can block an individual from reaching out for help and appropriate community in the face of relationship problems. Instead they look for solace inside the family unit, building inappropriate emotional bonds with an offspring.

Showpony is a term used here and pertains to the well-known dialogues around “mummy’s boy” and “daddy’s little angel” etc.
This ‘specialness’ is often played off against the parents’ partner and/or other sibling cast as scapegoat (at least subconsciously) by the dominant parent.

The idea of scapegoat is old, rooted in the Judeo-Christian mindset. Played out covertly and/or subconsciously in these post-modern times.

Another indicator of emotional incest is the parent’s non-acceptance of offspring choices re friends partners spouses etc. This is often dressed up by the dominant as an insistence that he/she wants only “the best” for their child.

The link with mental illness is clear. The up side of bi-polar/schizophrenia is rooted in this carefully fanned and nurtured specialness programming, the down side in scapegoatism …where the child continually fails to be “good enough”. Role reversals occur easily particularly when the primary scapegoat is removed. (Often by premature death or divorce)

Other symptoms like perfectionism (part of depression and avoidant disorder) and obsessive-compulsive routines can be traced to showpony/scapegoat dynamics.

To recover fully from such abuse, it seems the only reliable path is a new paradigm involving complete separation from family of origin.

Where there exists no solid succession law, the manipulative power of such a parent can be very intense.
For the abused son or daughter to leave, the choice usually involves forfeit of inheritance and extended family social connections. Such a choice flies in the face of deep security/social instincts.
Consequently very few people entrenched in such systems ever find true recovery. They tend to stay controlled to some extent by the parents without awareness of the high price they’re paying for loss of true personal integrity.